It came to today morning, I thought I should write this out.
Reflection:
Why is it that my friend complains of his married life and prefers to be with his friends than spend time with his wife ?
Probably this could also be a question in a lady love's i.e., a woman's mind as to "Why my husband/boy friend spends so much time with this particular friends and not me?"
Description
Men and Women life different lives before they come together as one. Each of their complains are valid, its the element of love that dies.
My perspective for this situation is that "Men need to be respected and honored before they could open up their complaint box for a solution". "Women need to find out Man's close friend who's offering the love element to understand what is missing in their relationship".
There are some factors women need to keep in their mind before they do so. First, never ever let her husband find out the inputs she received from the friend. Second, the person sharing this has to a trustworthy who will no make situations work".
Alright, enough of disclaimers, let's get going :
Woman offer solutions to men with love, men are offended as they never asked for their opinion.
Man never shared the problem because he assumed or never conveyed his feelings were to be respected and he would ask if he needed.
Why does a man rush to his close buddy?
Men understand Men in the same manner as a woman would understand a man.
Men are close because they understand when to offer advice and when to listen.
One of them is unknowingly listening and empathizing playing the role of a Woman which his wife or girl friend wouldn't do. That person playing the listener is a man when to offer an advice and when not. He knows the pulse of his mate because of the considerable time he has spent.
Men share their weaknesses with men or men realize their weakness because of the saying "Birds of the same feather flock together". They have been brought up the same way, share the similar habits, know how to socialize, understand the strengths and weakness and build a love and hate relationship despite being together".
Men love freedom, they know when to let go things, when to listen and when not to listen to let the comfort zone among them active. They may fight and reunite the next day with the blessed gift of "amnesia". They may carry forward their differences only as lessons- learnt to build a stronger bonding than ruin their relationship for a petty difference.
They would flower in compliments of success and achievement of goals to keep each others confidence levels high to keep that bond alive.
Learnings about men:
Learn to let go - Learn to not suggest
Listen like a woman, learn his pulse.
Understand a man's behavior with his friends - he will speak frequently to very few men most of the time. They are his punching bags.
Respect and honour his abilities
Do not challenge him - unless you know the coolant recipe for his ego
Give him his Space and Time - He will respect and come back to you.
Dont be surprised if he has done something unconventional - Men have mood swings too.
Cheers,
Ajith
